Dominus Read online

  “You’re willing to give up so easily?”

  “I’m not giving up. It’s only fair you give me an even chance.”

  “I would’ve pegged you for a girl with tenacity.”

  “I don’t care what you think about me. I just want out. If you have something to show me, just do it, get it over with.”

  “You really shouldn’t be in such a hurry. Frustration’s part of the game. Learn to deal with it, push through, and become better.” Christ, now he sounded like Dad.

  “What if I just stand here and refuse to move?”

  “Come on, Sable, you’re disappointing me.”

  “Good, you can go find someone else more stimulating. I’m not interested in your games.”

  “I’m not interested in what you want. You must’ve realized that by now.”

  No surprise there. “And you have nothing better to do with your time than play these stupid kids’ games. Great life that must be.”

  That brought me silence. What was better, the annoying banter or being cut off from the one connection to my escape?

  “Follow the hedge to the end and turn right.”

  “Is this you helping me or leading me farther into the maze?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  Here we go again.

  I did as he told me. “And what happens when I turn right?”

  “You’re going to come to another turn halfway down on your left. I want you to take that.”

  I obeyed. As I was nearing the end of the left turn, he instructed me to turn left again. A few more turns and I saw the waist-high brick wall at the end of the green corridor.

  Stepping out of the hedgerow, I found Jax standing on the brick wall, on the other side of which was a thirty-story drop to the streets below. I stalled walking toward him, as if getting any closer would push him off.

  “Should you be up there?”

  As a taunt, he walked along the top. The wall was wide enough but that didn’t stop my throat from constricting.

  “Depends on your faith in your ability.” He crouched and beckoned me over with a finger. “You’ve lived a very sheltered life, Sable.”

  An invisible wall descended between us, the crazy on one side, the terrified on the other.

  “At least I know where my boundaries are.”

  “Do you? The problem with living a sheltered life is you never learn how good you can be.”

  “Ditto if you’re dead.”

  “At least you tried.”

  “I’m not okay with that. Seems like a waste to me.”

  He straightened and began to walk again. I closed my eyes, unable to watch.

  “You must have the maze mapped in your head if you managed to get me out.” Distracting him seemed the best thing to do. I wasn’t sure how far he was willing to take this…whatever he was doing, but I didn’t want to be responsible for any reckless behavior.

  “I wonder, how far would you be willing to go?”

  “All depends on the risk versus the reward.” His question did nothing to settle my nerves.

  “Walking on this wall for a little fun.”

  “No way. Poor reward. Besides I’m afraid of heights.”

  “Crossing the tracks when a train’s coming.”

  “I think I’ve done that one before.”

  “Directly in front of the train.”

  “What’s the reward?”

  “Admiration from everyone watching.”

  I snorted a laugh. “Sounds like a testosterone rush to me. I know I’m courageous when it counts. I don’t need a group to tell me that.”

  “Russian Roulette?”

  “You’re freaky.”

  “How about killing someone to save your brother’s life?”

  My brain scrambled up. An ice swept through my body, leaving me shivering and faint.

  His eyes implored me for an answer, as if it meant life or death.

  “How do you know I have a brother?”

  He shrugged and paced a couple of steps forward. I stared at his leather boots, willing them to stay steady, stay one foot in front of the other, and not to deviate.

  “I make a habit of knowing things.”

  “You can leave him out of this.” My words were injected with heat and came out forceful.

  He barked a laugh. “You’re protective of your brother. That’s good. But don’t worry. I don’t mean anything by it. I would like to meet him sometime.”

  “Why?” Still with the steely tone. No one was allowed to mess with my little brother, certainly not someone like Jax.

  “I had a younger sister.”

  “Had?”

  “Yes, had.”

  As if someone had pricked me with a pin, my anger fizzled out. “I’m sorry.”

  He turned his back on me to stare out over the city skyline, his boots less than half a foot from the edge and a thirty-story drop below. “You never answered my question.”

  “Remind me what it was.”

  He turned to face me so his back was to the city behind, which made me feel sick. One accidental step back or wobble and he would be gone.

  “Can’t you come down?”

  “You haven’t answered my question.”

  “I forgot the bloody question.”

  He narrowed his eyes as he studied me. “You could last longer than I’ve predicted.”

  “I thought you were a mystery. Now I think you’re insane.”

  “A mystery? You’re closer to the truth with insane. But the right sort of insane. The sort that ensures survival.”

  “You need professional help.”

  “How far would you be willing to go? That was my question.”

  You’re sick, you’re sick, you’re sick. But his eyes were sane. Intense, scary, but sane. I’d never felt someone’s presence more, never been so acutely aware of their proximity and body language, never wished more for them to be gone but mentally begged them to stay, stay standing away from the edge, stay unmoving so they didn’t fall.

  “Not very far. Answer good enough for you?”

  “Not in the least. Sometimes you don’t have a choice. You gotta keep moving as fast as you can, as far as you can go, if you want to make it out alive.”

  He took a step back. Not enough to send him over the edge but enough to make me nearly wet my pants. “Jesus, what are you doing?”

  “You’ve got to learn how to push the boundaries, Sable. Got to learn how to be the best. There’s no guarantees, no safe ground. Only those who make a slave of their fear win.”

  “Jax, I don’t like this. Please, just come down. This is officially turning into the worst time of my life.”

  He shook his head. “You’ll look back on this day and realize it was the day your life began.”

  With that, he lifted his arms out to each side, arched his head back, and fell, a perfect backward dive.

  Chapter 8

  I was stone, but my heart still beat, a furious thumping rhythm. Breath frozen in my throat, palm covering my mouth, I stared. I couldn’t even blink, nor turn away. My body would not carry me forward to the edge, backward to escape.

  He’d done it. He had, hadn’t he? That’s what just happened. I wasn’t dreaming? I wasn’t in an altered state? I wasn’t mentally insane? He’d jumped. He’d jumped.

  Time condensed into one breath. I stared ahead to where his boots had been, standing over a crack that ran like a fissure across the brick work, to where he’d stood, now empty except for the skyline of buildings behind. The plane crossing the sky seemed to hover, suspended along with time, along with my breath, while my pulse thrashed through my veins in a torrential rush.

  When my legs gave out, I collapsed into a crouch, arms wrapped on head, head between knees. No, no, no, that had not happened.

  I hugged myself tight, a wall against the inevitable, the truth, then lurched forward onto my knees, palms slapping the concrete as what was in my stomach wanted out. It managed as far as halfway up my throat before I swall
owed to clear the obstruction. An ant darted over my hand in a frenzied rush. I closed my eyes and felt the tickle of its movement, felt the tremor in my hands spread throughout my body. I opened my eyes and pushed back to my heels, raised my hands to watch them shake.

  Another glance at the wall and I was still alone, abandoned. He was gone. It was the truth. He’d jumped. Time had not rewound, giving me a second chance to stop him.

  I made myself stand, which took enormous effort because my legs refused to respond. The frozen fear of what I would find thawed from my body. When I started moving, time would no longer remain suspended. I would have to face the fallout.

  Face it.

  I closed my eyes and gave myself the leisure of two big breaths before I headed for the corridor and the lift that would take me down. Up here I was sheltered from the devastating aftermath that would no doubt be unfolding on the streets below.

  Was this what he wanted? All his taunts. He meant to do this? Commit suicide in front of a stranger? Blow my mind. But not like this, surely? But why had he done it? And why in front of me? I was nothing to him. I didn’t even know him, so why commit his final act in front of me? But perhaps I wasn’t a stranger. He’d known about Ajay, which meant he’d bothered to delve into my life. Maybe, unbeknownst to me, there was kinship through tragedy.

  The maze proved a problem again, but I managed to win free. Unlike the time coming up in the lift, I willed the digital numbers to slow down, but of course, they didn’t. When the doors opened at the bottom, I remained inside until they began to close. I pushed the button to open them again and told my feet to move.

  The cars passed like they did every other day. I looked up and down the street, then jumped out the way of a guy staring at his cell screen instead of where he was going. He apologized, but I had no words for him, only a vacant look. He passed, giving me the weird eye, which said he thought I was on drugs.

  No sirens. No major emergency. I walked to the corner and looked down the street. Nothing. No crowds of people. No ambulance.

  I headed back the way I’d come and saw him leaning against a bus sign. His pose nonchalant, as if a wayward street kid looking for trouble. He eyed me with a wicked smile. The sort of smile that led to a wink and promise of more to come. I marched up to him with a scrunched fist and punched him in the jaw.

  My fury obliterated the street and everyone in it; we could’ve been the only two left in the world, which meant it didn’t matter who watched our unfolding drama and thought me a violent psycho. My knuckles smarted from the impact, but to hear the thwack and see his head snap to the side gave me an immense sense of satisfaction.

  “Bastard. How dare you.”

  I spun to leave but he caught my arm and pulled me back. My body tensed as I shook his hand off.

  “Don’t, Sable.”

  I got right in his face. “You jumped from a thirty-story— How is this possible? Tell me. How are you here?” I didn’t want to be this close, not now, but I was furious and confused and desperate for a logical answer.

  “Illusion?”

  I jammed my hands on my hips. “I don’t want to be a part of your sick and twisted games. I’m out of here.”

  People in the street looked at me. Generated by a human form of rocket fuel, I was immune to anything embarrassing.

  “Hang on.” He tried to grab my arm again.

  I lifted it out of his reach. “Leave me alone.”

  He held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, maybe it was a little over-the-top, but I have your attention.”

  I stared into his black eyes, looking for some sanity.

  “You wanted to cross boundaries. Well, you just did. Hope you’re feeling great.”

  “That’s quite a fire you have in you.”

  “This is a game to you. Jesus.” I closed my eyes and ducked my head, scrambling to find the right words, but the turbulence of my emotions messed with my thinking. There was nothing I could say that would change what he’d just done. “I don’t care. Not anymore. Whatever you’re trying to prove, I want nothing to do with it.”

  “Do you want to know how I’m still alive?”

  “No.” Dear god. “Did you slip me a drug? Is this a hallucination?”

  “This is reality. Your reality now.”

  “It just keeps getting worse. Listen to what comes from your mouth. I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m only interested in people who choose to care about the life they have.”

  He stepped closer, releasing the gravity of his stare, which felt stronger than a black hole’s pull. “You have no idea how much I care about my life.” There was everything scary about his tone. “I care about a lot of things, perhaps more so than you.” The sincerity in his eyes held me captive.

  The weight of my mood thinned the air and darkened the day. Why did I feel I was spiraling into a black hole with no end apart from one of Jax’s making, that there was nothing more substantial than the sort of games he offered, and I had nothing within me to pull me away?

  I looked away as my emotions boiled in my chest, threatening to rise up and engulf me.

  “Your future’s set now, Sable. I can give you answers.”

  “I don’t want answers. Not anymore.”

  “I wish you would recognize that you have no choice. You were always going to end up here.”

  He pushed off the sign, brushed past me—“Let’s go”—and headed off down the street.

  “I’m not following you, Jax,” I yelled after him.

  “Think smarter, Sable. Think of your family.”

  The comment was a fist to my stomach. I rushed after him. “Are you threatening my family?”

  “Never, if you come with me.”

  He was right. The understanding gouged a hole in my heart. Whatever mystery followed Jax, it would not relent, he would not relent, until he had me where he wanted me. Ajay was his guarantee I played nice, became his docile pet. And I would. I had to until such time as I understood who he was, what it was he wanted from me, what sick fantasy regarding me he’d created in his mind.

  We caught a bus the next block down, Jax paying for us both. I gave no attention to where we were going because my focus was on him, without appearing to be focused on him. After the horrible shock of his jump, I felt flat, like my energy had been sucked away. The whos and whats were too many, the fear too great.

  “This is our stop.”

  Twenty minutes had passed as we’d moved farther out of the city and into the old light industrial area, now transformed into a trendy suburb. Not the place I expected him to live. The warehouses remained but were refurbished into modern apartments, using mixed materials: wood, steel, and brick. With a new paint job and streetscape, meaning ample road-verge gardens, the developers increased their revenue and residents needed a bank vault of money to buy. So, what was Jax doing here?

  An elderly man gazed up at us as we exited. He glanced over me and fixated on Jax. His eyes then followed the long tattoo down Jax’s arm. A frown revealed his thoughts—a guy all in black, ink down his arm, tousled, messy hair, another useless piece of street trash. I wanted to think the same, but there was more to Jax than the surface.

  Once the bus passed, Jax crossed the street, heading for the warehouse opposite. At the door, he punched in a code and, with the click of the lock, yanked it open.

  “You live here?”

  “Surprised?”

  “I had you under a bridge somewhere.”

  “Sorry to disappoint.”

  I stalled. “I’m not going inside.”

  “You came all this way to refuse at the door?”

  “I thought being on the roof of the Adolphy was uncomfortable enough. Now I’m not so sure.”

  “We won’t be alone. The rest are inside.”

  “That’s even worse.”

  “You want to get home to your family, don’t you? Your mum will be wondering where you are soon. Maybe she already is. Your brother will be wondering too. Ajay, right?”


  “You asshole.” And he never included my father in the list of worried people.

  “I just need a little of your time. To talk. Answer questions. Nothing bad is going to happen. I promise.”

  I glanced down the street and saw no escape, no hiding place Jax could not reach, so ducked under his arm into the foyer and followed him across to the lifts as the door shut behind us with a click. With the sound, I thought about prison, no escape and sealed fates.

  The lift ride was over too soon.

  “They won’t bite.”

  I frowned at him. “I never said anything.”

  “You don’t need to. Your body language is doing all the talking. That and the fact the lift doors have been open a couple of seconds now and you’ve been staring out but not moving anywhere.”

  Get it together, girl.

  Jax led me into his apartment. I stood in amazement at the room such that the lift doors shaved my ass on closing. We entered into a spacious place, craning high with a huge vaulted ceiling, disappearing into the sky because of the skylights. A black steel banister segregated the mezzanine, which ran the length of the room, from the floor below. Comfortable couches, bean bags, and all manner of other cozy furniture littered the space. The punching bag in the corner was perhaps for those fed up with lounging around. With the discarded clothes and enough empty wrappers and drink bottles, the age category of the occupants was indisputable. But the rich aroma of something good baking was more in keeping with a family home.

  “I thought you said the others were here.”

  “Elva,” Jax yelled as he headed for the kitchen, an impressive display of brick, stainless steel, and granite, tucked in under the mezzanine. “You want a drink?”

  “No.”

  He seemed relaxed, happy, in direct contrast to how he’d been so far.

  Elva stuck her head over the banister. “What do you want? Uh-huh…I see.”

  That I see had to be referring to me, and the manner in which she said it didn’t sound much like oh, goody, a friend.

  She glided down the stairs one step at a time, slow and calculating.

  “Holden’s girl. My, my, my, aren’t you naughty.”

  I wasn’t going to bother correcting her.